In 2018, about eight months after the birth of my second daughter, my family’s life was turned upside down when I was diagnosed with Stage 3C ovarian cancer. I was 36 years old. Having previously gone through genetic testing due to a family history of cancer, I already knew I have the BRCA1 + gene and was undergoing routine screenings to try and do my due diligence to negate any risk of a cancer diagnosis. Ovarian cancer is already known as the silent killer and even with routine screenings, a lot of my initial symptoms for my cancer were missed until the cancer had progressed. Everything moved very quickly following my diagnosis and I had to stop breast feeding my second child so that I could first have port implantation surgery and begin chemotherapy.

 

We were extraordinarily lucky to have an army of support through family and friends who quickly came to help us take care of the kids, our household, and myself as we navigated chemotherapy, major surgery, and more chemotherapy. Thanks to the amazing work by the doctors and nurses at Dana Farber I was able to complete my initial treatment schedule and could effectively return to normal life while continuing maintenance treatment by January of 2019.

 

Our lives were busy and full and we watched the children grow while my hair came back and I regained some of the weight I had lost during treatment. A slightly elevated tumor marker and a scan that revealed an active spot outside my liver led to a second surgery in February of 2020, but the surgery was successful and we resumed our normal lives right before the world went into lockdown during the pandemic.

 

Juggling two parents working from home, virtual learning for a kindergartener, and daycare for a two-year-old was a lot. Like many families we underwent a good deal of stress to try and keep all the plates spinning and were looking forward to summer when we could take a small break from our day-to-day routines. Unfortunately, routine bloodwork showed an increase in my tumor marker in July of 2020 and then subsequent bloodwork and scans confirmed our worst fears by the fall. My cancer had come back and there was now involvement in my lymph nodes.

 

At this point there were no surgical options for the tumors that were appearing on the scans. I began chemotherapy again in September of 2020. I found it almost impossible to balance hybrid schooling for our now first-grader along with my job and dealing with side effects from treatment so we made the tough decision for me to leave my job by November of 2020 and collect disability for what we hoped was a short period of time.

 

Among the many things we’ve learned during this journey is that cancer doesn’t much care for your plans. Despite an initial positive response to chemotherapy, by the winter of 2021 it was determined that the treatment was no longer effective and we were then presented with an array of options to try including clinical trials or standard care. Aside from emotional turmoil, I was feeling relatively well and we made the decision to move forward with a clinical trial at the Dana Farber facility in Boston. The trial was physically very tough but I had a good response to the treatments up until the end of the summer of 2021. What followed was a string of clinical trials, off label treatments, and standard care treatments all of which show promise for a while, deliver varying degrees of side effects and then ultimately stop working.

 

Just prior to Christmas of 2022 we had hopes that the oral chemotherapy trial I was participating in was working but received the unfortunate news that my scans showed further progression and I would have to yet again look at different treatment options. Bloodwork after Christmas further complicated our choices as they showed an increase in my liver enzymes that revealed progression in the cancer in my liver and essentially narrowed our options to a chemotherapy I have received before. I began weekly Taxol and Avastin infusions in January of 2023 and we are hopeful that the unpleasant side effects that accompany these two drugs will buy us some more time. The side effects and the constant changing of treatments have made it impossible for me to work during this time and I’m unsure if or when I’ll be able to return to work in any capacity.

 

Our kids and our family and friends have been amazing but it has been a long and bumpy road these past few years and we’ve still got a lot of difficulty to navigate in the future. I’m very grateful to organizations like the Carin MacLean Foundation who recognize the need to uplift mothers dealing with cancer treatment. It’s hard to want to both be a caretaker and be taken care of, but often cancer doesn’t give you much choice. My only hope is to keep my body strong enough to keep going and to try and give back as best I can to all the people who have helped support my husband and my two beautiful girls during this time.